Buckle in, this is a story i've wanted to share for ages but a few people like to remind me that this happened a while ago and I can 'stop talking about it now'. But I thought screw it. This was my experience of a lifetime and I want to share it.
The boyband in question is The Wanted. Now a little back story, I was obsessed, and I mean obsessed with The Wanted as a teenager. I remember skipping school to go and see them, I would listen to them 24/7, spend hours voting for them in various award shows, the list goes on. When I was 12 years old I would live and breath The Wanted. We've all been there, right? So of course when they reunited in 2021 after a seven year break I had to get tickets!
Now, it all started when there was speculation of heart vacancy girls on this tour. A heart vacancy girl was the name given to the girls (or guys) who were picked to join them on stage for their song, Heart vacancy. Although with the meet and greet being socially distanced and some COVID-19 restrictions were still in place, I didn't have high hopes that they would be doing heart vacancy girls this time around. Then one day, they announced via a video that there will in fact be heart vacancy girls on tour! But this time it would be a little different. Instead of picking people from the crowd on the night, we were asked to send in a video explaining why we deserved to be a heart vacancy girl. They wanted us to be creative, funny and all thing in-between, we had one week to submit our videos. The reason they did video submissions was so that they could make sure the winners were free from coronavirus so that the boys, their team and the venue staff would be safe.
I was so determined. I remember from the moment I seen the video to the moment the winners were announced it was all I could think about, and then when the winners were announced it was still the only thing I could think about because I was going on stage with my absolute favourites!! I started brain storming ideas on how I could be creative and get my points across as to why I should be a heart vacancy girl. I didn't want to rush my video as it was only one per person. People started to upload within hours of the announcement. I wanted to take my time and make the best video that represents me and my personality but was also funny and explained why I deserved to win and be on that stage, I knew this needed some planning.
Anyone in The Wanted fandom would've seen my video by now, but I don't think many people know that it was a last minute idea. I had a whole other video idea which I spent a day planning.
I had planned to make a skit video which would've been around a minute long, I would FaceTime my mum and tell her the news that I could possibly be a heart vacancy girl, and I would get her to list the reasons why I should be a heart vacancy girl as my mum knew how much this meant to me, and it was going to come from her, the reasons she thought I should be a heart vacancy girl. Whilst in my fangirl era she would have me begging for time off school or concert tickets, she knew how crazy I was for The Wanted and I wouldn't have had half my experiences with them if it wasn't for my mum. This is why I wanted to include her in my video. After my video had my mum explaining why I should be a heart vacancy girl, it was then going to end with me sleeping, the camera zooms into my forehead and there would be me, dreaming that I'm on stage with them. I thought this was a good video, and even to this day I like the idea of it, but I'm not sure I would've won with this one. After spending the whole day writing scripts for me and helping my mum with hers I went to bed with the thought I would record it the next day. As I laid in bed I just couldn't sleep, partly because I was thinking about the possibility that my teenage dream would come true, the other half of me just kept criticising my video. Was it good enough? I kept thinking, should I change my idea, should I add this in or take this out etc. I had seen other entry videos and they were good! Some were funny, some were creative and some pulled at the heartstrings. I knew competition was high and I knew I had to do more. That is when I had the realisation that my video had to stick out and be memorable. I couldn't let my video get lost in the sea of entries. I thought, how can I make sure everyone remembers this video? That is when it came to me that I had to do something embarrassing, no one forgets someone embarrassing themselves on the Internet, right? And from that, I decided I would pour beans on my head. I'm not sure how I got there, but that was it. I knew that's what I had to do.
I decided I would pour a tin of beans over my head for each show I was attending and I would give one reason per tin of beans as to why I deserve to win the spot on stage. The next day I set up old blankets on the floor of my living room, opened three tins of beans and got my tripod ready to record. I only had one chance to record my video and get all of my points across. I was so nervous, I remember standing there and thinking, what the hell am I doing? I won't lie, I actually had a bit of fun pouring the beans on my head, I looked so silly I couldn't stop laughing at myself. A question I got asked a lot was about the mess, and surprisingly it was easy to clean. I scraped the beans off the blanket into the bin and shoved the blankets into the washing machine and then showered and washed them out my hair, simple!
I spent a few hours editing the video as I had over five minutes of footage, once I was happy with it I uploaded it to twitter with the competition hashtag. I didn't know what to expect but my notifications went crazy, everyone loved it. I had people retweeting it, tagging members of the band, commenting how much I made them laugh. I was even lucky enough to have Tom reply to the video and my video was mentioned in a few interviews the boys did. Over the next two weeks I was an anxious mess, I had people telling me not to worry, my video was great and I'd be sure to win one of the spots. But there were so many amazing videos out there, I could not stop thinking about it.
Now announcement day, I was at work when I got a notification from twitter, The band account had tweeted, saying they would be messaging winners soon. It's safe to say I was freaking out a little, I had 15 minutes of my shift left and I could not stop checking my phone. I then got a taxi home and I was terrified I'd get a message whilst walking and end up crying on the street. I was so nervous, it was all I could think about so I face-timed my mum to chat, trying to distract myself. That's when a message came up from Damien (a member of their team) saying congratulations, you've been picked as a Cardiff heart vacancy girl. My mum kept asking if it was real because I had told her someone made a fake account and was DM'ing a few people, but no, it was real.
I was shaking, once I read it and realised it was real I just cried. I immediately hung up on my mum and called my friend Jess (big up jessthewanted) crying. She was so happy for me and it was just the cutest thing ever.I could not believe this was happening. Something I had dreamt of for years and years, my absolute teenage dream was coming true!! Then the thoughts came flooding in, what do I wear? What if I fall over? I was bubbling with excitement. I just had two weeks to wait.
Fast foward to the tour, I had the bournemouth show first, in which Nathan immediately recognised me and started to shout beans at me, that is now a nickname that's stuck with me. Everyone in line for the meet and greet joined in to chant beans, I felt so embarrassed. I remember when they did heart vacancy at bournemouth I was so happy watching those girls up on stage and nearly let out a little tear knowing that would be me in two days. The night before the show date I got an email which told me where I had to be at what time and a few rules. When I tell you I could barely sleep, I probably slept for a maximum of four hours. I was like a child on Christmas Eve.
Now, show day. I was travelling from Bournemouth to Cardiff. I packed my suitcase, done my makeup and did a lateral flow test to be sure I was negative before setting off. The train ride was about three hours. I Grabbed a coffee and put The Wanted on repeat through my headphones. I felt like bouncing off the walls, I was so excited, I can't even explain my feelings at the time. The minute I stepped off the train in Cardiff I felt full of anxiety, I was so nervous.
I popped into the Tesco by my hotel for some snacks and a drink, I spoke to the cashier who asked what was going on, they've had a lot of people come in today who aren't welsh. I explained that The Wanted were at the arena that night and a lot of fans travel the UK for them and of course I had to mention I was going on stage. She was so excited for me it was the cutest exchange. I then met my friend Lauren at the hotel. To be honest I'm not sure I would've been a heart vacancy girl if it wasn't for Lauren. I only had the bournemouth date booked and was desperate to do more. So I went in hunt of good tickets to find some in the fifth row. The one issue was I had no one to go with. That's when I spoke to Lauren and found out the tickets I had found were right next to her seat! Perfect! She also was yet to book a hotel so we got one together and split the cost. Without her I wouldn't have gone to Cardiff, and who knows if I would've got selected for the other dates I was attending. When I got to the hotel I tried to eat some food but I was so nervous I could barely eat, I redid my makeup and did another lateral flow test just to be double safe. That is when Lauren convinced me to get soundcheck tickets at the door. I won't lie, I regret it a bit, purely because I couldn't have fun as I was so nervous and anxious that after I would be going through a rehearsal, be meeting the other heart vacancy girl and that it would actually be happening. Meet and greet also massively overran so I was stuck in a queue for over an hour, barely talking to my friends because of my nerves.
After the soundcheck I went up to Martin with the other heart vacancy girl, Charlotte, who was absolutely amazing. We went back stage and did another lateral flow test in front of Martin and the test desk women. Once we were all certain both our tests were negative we went to the stage. We we greeted by a lovely man who's name I've forgotten who explained what would happen when the time comes, he helped us get into position on the lift and made sure we were comfortable and Safe. We also had to sign forms to state we were shown and listened to the instructions incase we got into an accident. We got lead down the stairs on the stage so we could get a feel for it, in hope it helps us not fall down them during the actual show. What I thought was hilarious was that fact that meet and greet plus soundcheck overran so much that HRVY was doing his stage rehearsal whilst we were doing our rehearsal. We then were guided back off the stage the same way we would be during the song. Martin and the lift engineer were so lovely to us, calmed our nerves and did the most to make our experience enjoyable. On our way out of backstage we bumped into Adam Pitts, as a huge fan of Lawson I had to stop and say hello, he was just the cutest. He asked if we were excited to be on stage and congratulated us on winning. It was a brief chat but he was lovely. Martin then explained to us where to meet him during the concert and during what song.
I spent the time before the show in the arena bar, drinking only water, not only would I not be able to go on stage if I was drunk, but I was so scared I'd need a wee! I was a nervous wreck. Lauren did her best to calm me down and bring up my excitement, and honestly I don't know what I would've done without her. I barely spoke just because of how anxious I felt, I was hungry but couldn't eat anything. I had fans coming up to me who recognised me, asking how excited I was but I just kept saying how nervous I was. When we took our seats that is when I started to feel more excited. Although I had already seen the stage, and been on it, seeing it from my seat was when it hit me, I'll be up there in an hour. I felt all my feelings bubbling inside my stomach, the nerves, the excitement, the joy. I felt like I was going to explode!
As the show started I felt it more and more. I was distracted the whole time by my emotions. As I had seen the show before I knew how many songs were left until I had to leave my seat and prepare from my stage debut. We were meeting Martin during the song I found you. As the intro started I hugged my friends goodbye, gave them my phone and bag and went to our meeting point. We were given a purple wristband which I assume meant we were allowed backstage but only with a member of the team, I'm not too sure. The meeting point was a big pole by the side of the stage which was cordoned off. As I tried to get to the pole I was stopped by security. I showed them my wristband and explained I was going up on stage. They looked at me as if I was crazy and weren't letting me past. I kept explaining the situation but they weren't having it. I just kept pointing to my wristband and saying "'ive got to meet Martin at that pole right now" i'm not sure he even knew who Martin was. Luckily Damien was sitting on a seat close by and came up to tell the security I'm telling the truth and to let me past. Soon after Charlotte arrived and all our nerves turned into this crazy energy. Martin let us stay at the side of the stage for the remainder of the song before we were led backstage, Martin was laughing at us and told us to calm down, apparently we were the most excited he's seen, he told us normally the girls are in panic and freeze up whereas me and Charlotte were jumping around, singing at the top of our lungs. The adrenaline was kicking in. After the song, we moved backstage and waited in a hallway whilst the boys changed clothes and a VT ran. If you went to a show, you'll know how loud the helicopter sound was, it was even louder back stage. This is then when the nerves hit again. Trying to distract myself I started chatting about batteries to Martin... please tell me why. Dean (one of the tour managers) was lovely also, he complimented my outfit and said I gave off ginger spice vibes. My breathing started to get louder and faster, I thought maybe I'm about to have asthma attack. Martin kept telling me to try and calm down, i'm pretty sure he told the boys through their headsets I was a mess as they kept telling me to breath whilst I was on stage. The song started, the feeling I felt when I heard it was something I can't even describe and even when I listen to heart vacancy now, I get that feeling during the first few notes. We got positioned in the lift and waited whilst we heard the first bit of the song be sang. Before we popped up on stage I remember being able to see Max and Nathan. They were laughing at us, I just mouthed "i'm so fucking nervous but I love you".
My heart was beating out my chest as the lift rose up. my first thought when I bounced up on stage was "wow, I can only see like three rows of people in the crowd" because the lights were hiding everyone else, i'm not sure why I thought I'd see everyone as if I'm at a school assembly. As soon as I was on that stage, all the nerves I had left my body.
Nathan decided to share with the arena that I was in fact the girl who poured beans on her head. He lead me down the stairs half way to Siva, where Siva then told me to breathe. I don't remember my breathing being that awful on stage, I think it was just the adrenaline, plus the fact I nearly ran down the stairs in excitement to hug Siva. I didn't want to turn my back away from Siva so I held him close in one hand and held Nathans hand in my other for his solo, that's when Siva guided both my hands into Nathans for the solo. I was in awe that the voices I heard were straight from their mouths into my ears and not via a microphone and speaker. After Nathans solo we had a lovely three way hug and he asked "do you know the classic boyband sway" I replied with "of course" and off we all went. Nathan said to me "I'm so happy you're here" to which I said I was happy to be here and I thanked them for picking me as a winner, I said I had waited 12 years for this moment. Before I knew it they were leading me down the last set of steps. I remember standing on the edge of the stage feeling pure joy. This was it. This was my dream and it's now reality for me. I knew I would be handed a mic to sing, but when they both put their microphones out to me I just grabbed the two and sang my heart away, Nathan was in utter shock I was using both microphones, I apologise, it must've been so loud in their earpieces.
As I gave the microphones back we started that classic sway for the remainder of the song. The cutest thing happened where Siva inched closer and closer to me until we were side hugging. As the song ended both me and Charlotte got to say goodbye. To this day i'm still upset I didn't get to speak to Max on stage but I knew the show must go on and my time on the stage was over. I hugged Siva first and said thank you, this was amazing and just said I loved him very much. I then moved to Nathan where I said thank you for everything, you have no idea how much you helped me as a teenager. He replied "don't say thank you, I should be thanking you" which absolutely melted my heart, a moment which meant so much to 12 year old me and 22 year old me. I then moved to Jay, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and pulled me in for a big hug, I also thanked him and said how much he and the band helped me. He squeezed me closer and again said thank you to me, he gave me another kiss on the cheek and we parted ways as Nathan held mine and Charlotte's hand to walk us off stage. Those three minutes felt like a lifetime. I had no fears, no worries or stress in those three minutes. All I could feel was joy, happiness and love. It really was an experience I'll never forget, a memory I'll cherish forever. I still can't believe it was real. It felt like a dream. When I look back at photos, I can see just how happy I really was in that moment. I could talk about every little detail of what happened up on that stage. I may not remember what I ate for dinner the last few days but I can, and I'm sure I will always remember those small little details and conversations we had up on that stage, but then this post would probably be over an hour long to read, so we'll stick with this shorter version.
We were directed back to the seating area and I walked to my seat. Everyone around me was cheering me on and was so happy for me, half the people had no idea they were sitting next to someone about to go on stage with them. I felt so much joy, happiness and gratitude, I cant even describe it. Even to this day I rewatch all the videos and feel those emotions coming back to me. The rest of the show was amazing, all those nervous and anxiousness had left my body. I just couldn't stop smiling. After the show we waited round back for a few hours to meet the boys. After that, I knew I needed food. I had barely eaten all day. We went hunting around Cardiff and found an open kebab shop where I got chips. We didn't get back to the hotel until around 3am and stayed up chatting until 6am. I woke up around 9am and it was time to pack our stuff up and leave the hotel. I parted ways with Lauren after a McDonalds. I was so sad leaving Lauren. My whole train journey home was me watching videos and looking at photos. The joy and happiness I felt was unreal.
And that's my heart vacancy girl experience. It was so much more than I ever imagined. I will cherish that moment forever.
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